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good and evil
November 2009 
If Only Life Was Like Star Wars
Posted on May 9th, 2008
by 
Jim
Jim
If only life was like Star Wars, I would understand where the beginning, middle, and end of it all was.
If only life was like Star Wars, I'd get a light saber. A cool blue light saber, and I'd could lop off those annoying parking meters and never worry about having change fall down into a hole in the couch that I couldn't reach because I could widen that hole, no problem.
If only life was like Star Wars, I'd be able to fly around in the Millenium Falcon with some guy and his really big hairy friend. And I'd always know that I got a buddy looking out for me when Darth Vader is about to totally frag me when I'm totally trying to frag his entire place.
If only life was like Star Wars, good and evil would be simple. I'd always know who us was and who they are. And I would know that everything would be all right after defeating the emperor and helping blow up another Death Star and that I would get to hear that amazing John Williams symphony play the victory music, which would make me doubly sure that we'd won.
If only life was like Star Wars, I wouldn't have to wonder who the real enemy was sitting inside my brain. All those guys in the white storm trooper suits and sometimes black uniforms would make it clear who to fight and who to protect.
If only life was like Star Wars, I wouldn't worry about making ends meet because this totally, filthy rich princess would finance everything, including giving me my own fighter jet that I could totally crash in a filthy swamp. And she wouldn't ask questions or anything when I brought it back stinking and gross because I'm a total bad ass for blowing up the first Death Star.
If only life was like Star Wars, there'd be this old dude who'd periodically show up all shimmery and bright when I was really bummed and in need of some inspiration. And he'd tell me all sorts of esoteric secrets that wouldn't make any damned bit of sense at the time, but I'd at least know that someone was looking out after me even when I'm hypothermic, face down in the snow on an ice world.
If only life was like Star Wars, we could find peace after the third movie. Wham. Boom. Ewoks to the rescue and peace is restored to everyone.
If only life was like Star Wars, I would have an Ewok, and I'd name him Ray.
If only life was like Star Wars, I could get a preview of what's going on with the action of some place, job, or relationship with a scrolling, dramatic dialogue so I'd never have to worry about putting my foot in my mouth because I didn't know something.
If only life was like Star Wars, I would know when I'd finally become a Jedi, enlightened, or wise.
If only life was like Star Wars, I wouldn't have to sit through the bad parts, but could fast forward to the good stuff. Like when Luke gets his arm cut off, I could go right by that and fast forward to when they rescue Han in the third one.
If only life was like Star Wars, dreams would be possible to achieve in roughly ninety minutes.
If only life was like Star Wars, the thought of darkness winning would only be a temporary concern because you know what comes in the third movie.
If only life was like Star Wars, I'd be safe. Because it would be so predictable. And I'd know what to do all the time because the force is always with me.
If only life was like Star Wars, I'd get a light saber. A cool blue light saber, and I'd could lop off those annoying parking meters and never worry about having change fall down into a hole in the couch that I couldn't reach because I could widen that hole, no problem.
If only life was like Star Wars, I'd be able to fly around in the Millenium Falcon with some guy and his really big hairy friend. And I'd always know that I got a buddy looking out for me when Darth Vader is about to totally frag me when I'm totally trying to frag his entire place.
If only life was like Star Wars, good and evil would be simple. I'd always know who us was and who they are. And I would know that everything would be all right after defeating the emperor and helping blow up another Death Star and that I would get to hear that amazing John Williams symphony play the victory music, which would make me doubly sure that we'd won.
If only life was like Star Wars, I wouldn't have to wonder who the real enemy was sitting inside my brain. All those guys in the white storm trooper suits and sometimes black uniforms would make it clear who to fight and who to protect.
If only life was like Star Wars, I wouldn't worry about making ends meet because this totally, filthy rich princess would finance everything, including giving me my own fighter jet that I could totally crash in a filthy swamp. And she wouldn't ask questions or anything when I brought it back stinking and gross because I'm a total bad ass for blowing up the first Death Star.
If only life was like Star Wars, there'd be this old dude who'd periodically show up all shimmery and bright when I was really bummed and in need of some inspiration. And he'd tell me all sorts of esoteric secrets that wouldn't make any damned bit of sense at the time, but I'd at least know that someone was looking out after me even when I'm hypothermic, face down in the snow on an ice world.
If only life was like Star Wars, we could find peace after the third movie. Wham. Boom. Ewoks to the rescue and peace is restored to everyone.
If only life was like Star Wars, I would have an Ewok, and I'd name him Ray.
If only life was like Star Wars, I could get a preview of what's going on with the action of some place, job, or relationship with a scrolling, dramatic dialogue so I'd never have to worry about putting my foot in my mouth because I didn't know something.
If only life was like Star Wars, I would know when I'd finally become a Jedi, enlightened, or wise.
If only life was like Star Wars, I wouldn't have to sit through the bad parts, but could fast forward to the good stuff. Like when Luke gets his arm cut off, I could go right by that and fast forward to when they rescue Han in the third one.
If only life was like Star Wars, dreams would be possible to achieve in roughly ninety minutes.
If only life was like Star Wars, the thought of darkness winning would only be a temporary concern because you know what comes in the third movie.
If only life was like Star Wars, I'd be safe. Because it would be so predictable. And I'd know what to do all the time because the force is always with me.
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