Yoga and the Spiritual Path

Before I get going too far, yoga also has spiritual teachings, and my teacher happens to use some of those teachings. However, I'm using the term "yoga" in the more general sense that people think of it, i.e. bending, flexibility, turning yourself into a human pretzel, and so forth.

Of course, the physical work in a yoga practice is also a spiritual practice. This sometimes seems to be forgotten for many yoga teachers and studios. Many people have turned yoga into the new work-out fad. To me, the Bikram or Hot Yoga is possibly the most silly. It ratchets up the intensity by creating a hot environment to give muscles more flexibility. And while I'm sure many people have benefited from this, I feel like it moves away from the deeper practice of yoga which is to learn to be with yourself in any position, not just to get a great work-out.

How to Find a Good Yoga Teacher
Good luck. You're gonna need it. They're out there, and of course there are as many types of teachers as there are types of students. And since so many students are just looking for a good work out and not any kind of revelation, I'm sure that you'll be able to find one (especially if you live in the SF Bay area--seriously, you can't turn around without running into one). But really, I think to find a good yoga teacher takes a little bit of good karma and luck.

What I mean when I say a "good" yoga teacher is someone who understands the deeper practice of yoga and who can help his/her students move into deeper energetic spaces during the practice. Anyone can tell someone to move into a downward dog position; a good teacher can take you there and let you explore the feelings, emotions, and sensations. A good teacher can leave you when you need to be left there and also know when to take you a step further into the fires of whatever issues you need to face and free from your body.

Eureka! I've Found One
Such people are rare, and you'll know when you've found one. You have to know that I don't gush about people very often in much of anything. I see most people as usually just doing the status quo. Nothing wrong with it, but it doesn't light me up. However, the yoga teacher that I met at a 24-hour fitness (talk about luck, right?) in San Francisco in March of 2008 has to be one of the most in tune teachers I've ever come across. She's one of a handful of people that really helped create and hold a space so that I could stabilize during an intense spiritual transition and downward spiral in my life if only for an hour on Thursday night. It was an incredible gift for me, and she's someone who I hold in the deepest sense of gratitude of probably anyone in my life.

Today, I had a chance to re-connect with her and go through one of her yoga sessions. It was very different because I felt so much more stable and at-play in the energy of the space. I'm not in yoga-shape right now, so some of the poses definitely made me work harder than usual. But as usual nothing truly hurt, and I did find some new spaces that my body could now move into (A wheel pose actually felt more like stretching and less like "AHHHH, Get me the heck out of this! My wrists are going to snap!").

I feel like I've integrated so much spiritual energy in my being that I didn't have any dramatic shifts this time around. But I did feel different movements in myself as some things adjusted. It's nice to have subtler movements at play in my body and in my energy. Before, it felt like the grinding of techtonic plates. Good God, I don't know how I kept my sanity last year.

And of course, her flow with everything was beautiful, kind, and encouraging when things were challenging. It's a very special thing that she offers to her students (and which I am happy to remind her of). As I said, most teachers aren't in this space. They're trying to give you a work out or having you push into uncomfortable poses. And it's not that my teacher has me always in completely comfortable positions, but it's the energy of the situation that allows things to shift and free up. Last year, I could really feel issues as they'd arise in different poses. I could the have them release when I released out of the pose.

I probably should explain what I mean by issues. I'm talking about guilt about a relationship gone wrong, anger about a bad job situation, childhood issues, scarcity issues, fear, hate, and anything else that has gotten stuck in you during your life's journey. Yoga can free you from some if not all of these. While I've done a lot of spiritual work in my life, there's something about working with your body that allows you to take things one step further. And though it never happened to me, there have been other students who'd break down and cry as these things moved up and out of them. It was always an honor to be there during a night when that happened and to see someone let go of an old burden.

So it goes without saying that my times last year with her gave me an incredible set of experiences, and as I said, I'm deeply grateful to my yoga teacher.

You Can't Win At Yoga
And I really don't try to. Every now and again, some of the poses feel like I think they should, but most of them (even the down dog) are works in progress. Anything involving hip flexibility is a lesson in humility. They usually come after a nice vinyasa when I'm feeling good about how strong I am in the Plank pose. Nonetheless, none of the poses are about perfecting them in any sense. I don't intend to have a daily yoga practice to even achieve it. I use my yoga as a spiritual practice, a grounding tool, and a general health and flexibility maintenance tool. The beauty of yoga is that it can be all these things. Just remember that you can't win. Or be perfect. And what's great, is that with yoga, those things don't matter.

The Teacher-Student Relationship
My yoga teacher was the first person whom I ever really accepted as a teacher in this kind of intense space. It's not like a professor at college (and I had a couple great ones). That's so intellectual and entirely a whole other beast. A yoga teacher is much more integral working with your whole being, and I'd never really let anyone as deep as I let her in. I'd also never felt like someone could really support and nurture me outside my family, so finding her was truly a gift.

I'm sure that you can hear the love in my voice, and of course if you've been reading this blog, Iove is a deep part of my process. I have a deep love and regard of what she's doing and how she has helped me. Because in helping me open up to a teacher, she helped create the space in my heart to accept my current spiritual teacher, Siddhartha. I'm not sure if I'd have had the same space to bring him into my life without her.

Love, Yoga, and Spirituality
So as much of my path has been about love, so is it with my yoga practice. A practice of loving myself in easy and difficult moments. A practice of watching things arise and pass, tighten and release. If you are so fortunate to find a yoga teacher who can create these spaces, cherish him or her. Honor that teacher and regularly attend as much as you can and as much as you need to. They're rare, but they're out there.

If you're ready, you'll find your teacher. And if you're truly ready, the secrets of the deeper part of yoga may yet start to unfold for you.