Spirituality and connection are some of the worst drugs out there. It's a funny thing that part of the spiritual path is to let go of desires, wants, and needs. Yet, connecting with someone on a spiritual and energetic level can be so profoundly gratifying and moving that it can become one of the greatest desires of all. If you taste just a little of that deeper connection that goes beyond skin and basic emotion, you never can quite go back to the alternative.

Clearing the Way for God
Which is why so many of us spiritual seekers get more than a little obsessed with the idea of spiritual partnership, soulmates, and whatever other term you care to use for the process of being able to connect deeply, intimately, and regularly with another being. In theory, it sounds like an awesome experience, but like any good drug, spiritual connection comes with a lot of unexpected side effects. Because spirit is always trying to reconnect with itself at the highest level. To do that, usually involves a lot of internal work to clear out the blocks and issues that are not allowing you or your partner to connect in that way. The deeper your connection with someone else, the more intense the pressure becomes on your issues that are in the way. It's spirit's way of trying to help you and show you where you need to grow in the space of that relationship. It is beautiful on one level, but it's incredibly painful on another.

The Duality of Relationship
I'm not entirely sure that this really is all that much different than any other kind of union of two people out there save that the term "soulmate" gets used very seriously and with a kind of reverence and expectation for all kinds of light and butterflies to be flying out of the other person. I think most married couples will tell you that a marriage is a lot of work, but I think there's a different quality of work that two people committed to spirit in their lives and in their relationship have to do. And in this world, it has a flavor of duality, I think. On the one hand, so much pressure is put on your internal blocks to spirit that it can range from discomfort to plain agony, depending on the isue. On the other hand, when a block moves, the space of light that opens up between two people can be very warm and light or intensely profound that it's almost like falling in love again.

Spiritual Partnership: Finding the Right Person
For my part, I have worked with spiritual partnership in primarily platonic ways and have seen the profound shifts that it has caused in me just through being with certain spiritual friends. When you find someone who just has the right complementing energy, whole worlds of self-exploration and understanding become available to you that never would have been available before. That's the gift of spiritual partnership, and it's why it's become so important to me not just in a romantic relationship but in as many friendships as I can find. Because I'm always looking to grow and to expand my capacity to love and understand and to heal the world. But at the same time, there's a deeper responsibility to be present with the work and the frustrations and all the deeper internal gunk that boils to the top when you're in these relationships. Without the right tenacity, it just blows apart. Without the right deftness of awareness, you blame the other person. Without the right partner, they'll do those things to you. Because this isn't the easy path around; this is the path that bores straight through all the difficulties in your heart and soul so that you can fully be with yourself, with your partner, and with God.

Since my last post has become possibly my most popular blog post ever (and definitely for this blog it is), I thought I'd continue to ruminate about soulmates and what that really is, as well as invite you to contribute your thoughts.

Debunking the Current Soulmate Myth
Personally, I don't buy the way the concept of "soulmate" as currently sold in our culture. Right now, there's only 1 person for you. That's it. Just one. In fact, that's often the term that people use in regards to this quest for soul completion through another; I'm looking for "the one." Oh man. That just sucks. I mean really? In a world with 6 billion people on it, there's only one. Oh guess what? Yours is in Uzbekistan. Happy hiking. I hope you're ready to go. Maybe some of your are. Maybe the pull for that person to complete you is that strong.